Monday, 21 August 2017

Travelling or Therapy?

I know I haven't written a post in a long time, and the last time I did write was about the more downbeat, but very real issue of the post-university blues, and I said I don't write posts unless I have something to say. Well, now I have something to share. When wrote that last post, as I mentioned before, my heart was broken because I was leaving my home of 3 years, and while I still miss it and everyone there with all my being, it has become easier to deal with.

For me, travelling has not just been something amazing and a chance to see the world, but it has become a form of therapy. Sometimes travelling may seem like running away from your problems but looking at something from 8000 miles away can certainly give you a different type of perspective. I know this might sound very obvious or airy-fairy, but last time I was writing I was struggling a lot with a very big life decision - whether to attempt to find a job, stay at Holloway for another year or be brave and go to Paris. I was still struggling with this decision when I left over 5 weeks ago on July 17th to head to Central America.

There's nothing like leaving alone and attempting to tackle 8 countries in 5 weeks without knowing a word of Spanish to clear your head. I hadn't been travelling alone for 2 years to this point, and although I was absolutely terrified about leaving, (and my best friends will attest to this), once again, as always, it was the best decision ever.

Going to the other side of the world made me realise I could do it, I could do anything I wanted to, and that, while all my fears about leaving and moving to Paris for a year were legitimate, they also made it part of the appeal. Moving abroad can be exciting and terrifying at the same time, and they both go hand in hand, but leaving for 5 weeks showed me what I already knew but seemed to have forgotten, that I can completely rely on myself and that I am in control of my own life. End of story.
I'm still beyond nervous about leaving, and in 4 weeks time when I have to leave for good I probably will not want to go, but I will be so proud of myself for going, and I will be able to do it.

Deciding this was finally a decision for me. I stopped faffing around and chose to not make my decision about anyone else but me, and it felt so good, it was such a relief. I was so caught up before about what to do that I couldn't see a way out, I was winding myself up so much I couldn't hear myself think. Travelling allowed me to understand what I really wanted, and while it is probably a more expensive solution than therapy, its a hell of a lot more fun!

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

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