Sunday, 28 June 2015

It's see you later, not goodbye

Now I know I haven't written in a while, and I really have no excuse. Since leaving university for the summer I have basically been working 24/7 in order to save money for my trip to South Africa which is meant to take place a week today, however, after this weekend it is probable I won't be going just yet.

This year has not been the easiest year for my family what with my Dad's accident so to have him on the mend is great. This past weekend we headed up to Norwich to visit my Dad's family for my grandma's late 80th birthday. Norwich is about 4 hours away from where I live so we don't get to see my grandparents here as much as possible, maybe about twice a year, along with my aunt and cousins who also live in Norwich. Also there this weekend were my cousins, aunt and uncle from New Zealand were here, this kind of family gathering happens maybe once every 5 years or so. Everyone was there, we had photos and lunch at the local country hotel before heading back to my grandparents' house about 5 minutes away. Whiling away the afternoon in the sunshine was lovely while the children were playing games and the adults were chatting. 

It really was a beautiful day.

Just after dinner something happened, something that in my 20 years of being alive has never happened to me before, my Grandad who was 85 years old, quietly passed away. Although like any elderly person of 85, he was on many medications, he had diabetes and various health problems, yesterday, he seemed healthy and happy. The paramedics came and tried to revive him but it wasn't any use, he had the best day surrounded by his family, and although I don't know if you can choose your death, I'm pretty sure if Grandad David could, that would have been the perfect time for him. 

It was such a heart-breaking moment, my dad and his younger sister and younger brother, along with my Grandma losing their dad/husband. I've never had a death this personal, so close to me, I've been very lucky in that respect. Nothing could have prepared me for it though, it feels like I am stuck in a bad dream and just can't wake up. Now all the talk of coroners, post-mortems and undertakers seems to be so surreal and it's all happening so fast. 

This year has probably been the toughest year for my dad especially, having a traumatic brain injury to recover from and now losing his dad. 

Death affects us in different ways, and although Grandad David's death couldn't be more perfect if it had to happen, the aftermath, this limbo that it has left us all in is something that no one can really explain. There is so much admin and paperwork that must be done, yet in all this, we cannot forget that he is now at peace. I know this is a very personal moment for my family, and some people may criticise me for writing this so publicly, but I say, everyone grieves in different ways and to share how I'm feeling will comfort me in the knowledge I can start to make sense of what happened this weekend.

Anyway, it's not goodbye Grandad David, it's see you later. Rest in Peace. Forever and Always.

Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

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