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Sunday, 19 April 2015

What makes you Strong? (with a capital S)

So over the past couple of days, in light of what happened to Dad, the word "Strong" has been tossed around a lot. It got me thinking, what is "Strong" and what makes us "Strong". See, I don't know if I would say I'm Strong, I think it is pretty hard to judge for yourself, I do my best anyway.

Is it smiling in the face of adversity?

Is it picking yourself up after a hard day and carrying on?
Is it not crying when all you want to do it cry?
Is it crying when all you want to do is keep it in?
Is it keeping it in?
Is it not keeping it in?
Is it being there for someone when they need you?
Is it being the person everyone knows they can rely on, the rock?
Is it holding everything together when those around you can't?
Is it learning from your mistakes?
Is it holding your hands up when you are wrong?
Is it facing the day when you want to stay in bed?
Is it lifting that extra 5kg in the gym?
Is it going for that run that you've been putting off for weeks?
Is it saying no to that last piece of chocolate?
Is it doing that thing that makes you scared the most?
Is it saying fuck it and talking to that person you've been to nervous to talk to?
Is it finally booking that plane ticket and getting away like you've always dreamed of?
Is it reading that book you've been meaning too since last summer?
Is it saying yes when you would normally say no?
Or is it just singing and dancing your way through the day?

It could be a number of things, and a combination of amazing qualities that we all possess that take time to develop and grow and slowly, bit by bit, we get stronger and stronger, dealing with all the shit that may fall in our path, blindsiding you when you least expect it. I like the idea that as we get older we get stronger and wiser but somehow I think I'm going to be just as mad then as I am now but hopefully stronger.







Have a good week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Friday, 10 April 2015

About Me

A little bit of news before I get onto the main topic of this post. Today my first ever proper article was published by The Tab. Okay so it has been tweaked by the editor quite a bit but most of it is mine and I'm very excited to show you it here!

Today I realised I have had this blog for nearly 3 years and yet looking back to the beginning I never properly introduced myself. So here goes, 3 years late:


Hi, I'm Kate, I am 20 years old and am a student at Royal Holloway, University of London where I study English and Classical Studies. I started this blog as a way to remember my time in hospital, which granted is a weird thing to want to remember but now I'm glad I started it because it allows me to remember my story and hopefully lets anyone else who is mad enough to read it too.


1) I love driving. There I said it. Many of my passengers would probably love to disagree with me but I think I'm not too bad at it either. There is just something about the freedom that driving brings you that is unlike anything else.


2) I am very much a savoury person over sweet - pass me a bag of crisps over chocolate any day!


3) I once had an argument (albeit very brief) on Twitter with Louisa Zissman, the Apprentice candidate about foreign languages, needless to say, I won.

4) I am probably one of the clumsiest people you will ever meet, and my flatmates bought me an adult bib with my name on it just to prove it.


5) When I went travelling I got to experience such amazing things and have such a great time, but it also taught me so much about self-reliance and independence. There were some of the loneliest points I've ever had, but I wouldn't change it for the world.


6) I want to retire to Cornwall and eat pastries and ice cream every day


7) I am 5'10 bordering on 5'11 and have size 9/10 feet which (I think) qualifies me to be a man and therefore can never ever wear heels which I am secretly pleased about.


8) Wherever I go I am always official bug and spider killer as I find them interesting not scary.


9) When I was younger I loved to read, which is why I am so uneducated when it comes to films, Lord of the Rings, Jaws, Titanic, Shawshank, haven't seen any of them!


10) I love my flatmates to bits and can't wait to be back at uni with them (once exams are over of course)


Now I have to dash off to work but I hope you enjoyed reading a little bit more about me!


Have a great week my loves!


Lots of Love, Kate xxx


Thursday, 9 April 2015

Dreams

I don't know what it is, but recently I have been feeling very excited and I couldn't quite put my finger on it, what is it I am looking forward to? And then it hit me. I am so excited for the future. I've never really thought about what I really want to do with my life, I don't have any career aspirations or plans, but one thing I can't wait for is my future family. It is amazing to think that hopefully my future husband is somewhere out there, whether I know him or not, and he will be half of my future children and I just can't wait. 
To some people I know domestic life sounds like hell, being stuck in one place or the same job etc, but to me, I can't wait. I am so excited to be able to sit down with my family at dinner, picking children up from school, going on family holidays, and I know this sounds terribly idealistic and dreamy but to me, this is my dream. 
It's not like I'm planning to be a wife from the 50s, I am going to have a career, whatever that may be, but to me as important as that will be, my family is what I am excited for.

So this got me thinking, I wonder if anyone else has ever thought like this. For me, a husband and children are what I want and I would never think of anything else. But of course there are people who would not want to get married or have children, and I was just curious how they decided that. I mean I never really decided, it was just a sort of given but what if when it comes down to it I change my mind, or that it never happens. That's the trouble with big dreams, there is no way of knowing whether they will ever come true. I really hope I have the chance to be a wife and a mum, and positive thinking will get you everywhere, but what if it doesn't happen, what is plan B. 


I think if it doesn't happen I will try to travel as much as possible. I know that sounds cliche but travelling with friends is also another one of my dreams. I have travelled alone to all these amazing places and will take every opportunity to go anywhere new, but I don't think there is much better than going to such incredible places with amazing people that you love. 


Obviously dreams like these are the classic wishy-washy ones like 'I want to be a millionaire' but considering we only get one shot at this life, might as well make it one that you are happy with, proud of and full of fulfilled dreams, no matter what they are. One person's dream to you may sound like boring hell to you, but it is still their dream. 

So don't rain on their parade, help them dance in the rain. 

Have a great week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Easter Monday

Well it's been about a week and I've slowly made a little bit of progress with revision but obviously, there is always more to be done! 

The Easter long weekend is usually a time for a family get together in our household and this year would be no exception. All my mum's family were invited to our house on Easter Monday for a roast lunch, yet this would be one to remember. It all started when Dad decided he was going to go for a bike ride as it was such a lovely day, dressed in his cycling leotard which I made fun of and the newly fixed up bike he said he would be back in an hour. In 1 hour 45 mins later we were wondering where he had got to, joking that maybe he had a flat tyre or something so I decided to call him. 

Answering the phone I thought it was Dad, jokily yelling, 'Where are you?' it turned out to be a policeman. He said Dad had been involved in a very serious accident, they weren't sure if it was a hit and run, although later it turns out it probably wasn't, he had been sedated and airlifted to Southampton General Hospital with head injuries. They sent an unmarked police car over to the house to take my Mum and Auntie down to the hospital, blue lights blaring and 90 mph all the way. 
After waiting and waiting it turns out Dad had been put in an induced coma with a broken collarbone and broken skull - he wasn't wearing a helmet. Going down the hill too fast he hit a sunken drain cover and came off, we think but really no one knows. 
Various scans yesterday show that there is no internal bleeding and he should be okay, today he had an operation to try and close the head would although they may have to do a skin graft if it doesn't take. Also, they tried to wake him up today but it was too quick and he was too unstable, hopefully, tomorrow they will have more luck. 

I haven't had the chance to see him yet, hopefully, tomorrow all being well. It's very strange because he was here one minute and then the next not. It's weird being in a coma because he will not know what has happened and it is unlikely that he will even remember the accident but hopefully will be okay again soon. There's nothing we can do but wait and this 'in limbo' effect is odd. This is probably one of the scariest things that have happened to my family and I really hope there will be no more for a while.


I'll keep you all updated when I can


Have a great week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

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