Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Procrastination for the modern era

Hello, my lovelies,

It's now the fourth day of my university Easter holidays and I have achieved absolutely nothing. The long list of work is always on my mind and with exams looming and the end of first year fast approaching and I can't quite believe it. 

My procrastination skills, on the other hand, are flourishing nicely, my bed has become my haven and Netflix is my best friend. I haven't unpacked and haven't even made a dent in my reading list and yet I am strangely calm while also panicking inside and still nothing is being done. This strange state of being has got me thinking, procrastination in today's world is so easy that it almost becomes second nature to me now. Sometimes taking a break or a duvet day is needed, but not 4 days in a row without doing much.

There is such a thing as productive procrastination I have found, tidying my room or creating a recipe book (yes I did do that one over Christmas) but I'm not even doing that at the moment. Nothing is being done and I love it, but at the same time, I feel strangely guilty for just having a rest. With the multitude of things that we can now do instead of the work we are meant to be doing, it is partly surprising we get anything done anymore anyways! 

Even writing this blog is procrastination on my part - and reading it is procrastination on yours! So get back to work and I will try as well, although only once I have finished the current episode of Gossip Girl...

Have a great week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Procrastination, Uni Style 

Monday, 23 March 2015

Being Ill at University and the rest...

Now I knew this was bound to happen, I would get ill at university and instantly want my parents to come and look after me. Normally I can battle my way through a lingering cough and the unwanted cold by myself, drugging myself up with all the cough medicines under the sun, but now I have got an ear infection which I have had for nearly two weeks now, and I feel like it is all I can talk about, I can hear my flatmates getting bored of me still complaining about the ringing in my ears and the deafness and yet I still can't stop going on about it. It was such a problem at the weekend, and still is that I had to go to A&E to get antibiotics which haven't worked yet but I'm praying they are going to kick in soon.
This is making me grumpy also because I think everyone is going out tonight and I'm not because I'm ill etc and such a boring person.

Anyways that rant over, I wanted to speak about the fact that we are coming to the end of the second term here at university and soon exams are going to start and first year will be over. I can't believe it is going to be over. I absolutely love it here, my friends are my family and I love being so independent, but with my last essay results received today, I'm not sure if I will be able to make it through next year. I am solidly sitting at a 2:2 which is not good enough for me, and no matter how hard I try I seem to do no better. I'm not sure this whole degree thing is working for me. I know I'm sure everyone has their wobbles but I can't see how I am going to make it better and pick up my game to get to a 2:1 which is what I really want.

Anyway, next time I write hopefully I'll be out of this downer and be feeling better, so bye, for now, my lovelies.

Have a great week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

The Sun is on its way

Although this is a little late as it is now Wednesday I just want to write a little about my lovely weekend that I had and then a little something else.

So although it was quite quiet in the flat, it was beautiful. The sun was shining so Romily, Elliott and I had a walk down into Egham, or "big E" as we affectionately call it, it was lovely just to wander around the town, discovering places we didn't even know existed, and then Elliott and Jorge got a much-needed haircut (don't tell them that haha) and we walked back before having a very productive evening in the Library. 
On Sunday Romily, Sabrina, Ells and I went to have Sunday lunch, and then again back to the library, and although it doesn't seem that interesting a weekend, it was one of the best I've had in a while as it was productive yet very enjoyable, and I think this was probably down to the fact the sun was shining, it felt like summer was on its way and probably because I was with awesome people once again who I can't thank enough for putting up with me. University wouldn't be half as brilliant without them.

Onto another topic, I just wanted to touch upon, mainly last week, and a little the week before I began to feel like everything was suddenly getting on top of me and I wasn't doing enough. Not enough, but like, the best y'know? But I've realised that as long as I try, nothing else matters, I tend to be very overly critical of myself and it's a habit that I've learnt to control, however sometimes it's still there. If I'm not doing everything, signing up for everything I can do and making the most of my time then I feel inadequate and get that very much what's the point kind of attitude which I hate. When it has become mostly a problem is when now when I should be sleeping, I am so tired just because I feel that sleeping is almost a waste of time sometimes and I could be doing so much more with my time. Yet this weekend I realised it does matter and I just need to stop, stop trying to please everybody and stop trying to do everything, just try and does what I can while still looking after myself. It's the only way it's going to work without me going crazier than I already am anyway!

Woah got a bit deep there... Anyways gotta run

Have a great week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Pablo Neruda

So today I had my last English Foundation Tutorial session which was quite sad as I have grown to love all the girls in my group but Sarah shared this really amazing poem by Pablo Neruda, who I have never heard of before, but it really struck a chord with me so I thought I would share it with you all. It is honest and true and makes sense all at the same time while speaking absolute nonsense. It is brilliant and I love it and it sums up how I quite often think and feel right now even when I don't. Also, the original Spanish is beautiful too so I thought I would include it at the bottom.

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving you to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will ensue
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story, I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you.
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Spanish Original
No te quiero sino porque te quiero
y de quererte a no quererte llego
y de esperarte cuando no te espero
pasa mi corazón del frío al fuego.

Te quiero solo porque a ti te quiero,
te odio sin fin, y odiandote te ruego,
y la medida de mi amor viajero
es no verte y amarte como un ciego.

Tal vez consumira la luz de Enero,
su rayo cruel, mi corazón entero,
robandome la llave del sosiego.

En esta historia solo yo me muero
y morire de amor porque te quiero,
porque te quiero, amor, a sangre y fuego.

And although I'm not going to pretend I understand Spanish at all, I have been told that the English translation doesn't do it justice in its literal translation of the beauty with which the words are selected. I apologise for going all English student-y but don't you think it is just lovely? Well, I do anyway.

Time for a quick Kate update, well not much is going on at the moment, I'm still at University, they haven't realised they've made a huge mistake yet and kicked me out, thank god! 

Occasionally I have these desires to quit everything here and just get on a plane like last year but then I realise I have actual commitments and responsibilities here and can't let anyone down. That's one thing I really can't do. Plus I think I should kinda get my degree first before I go running off again. Um, what else. I'm thinking I will probably go back to South Africa in the summer if I can get enough money together again, probably with Real Gap again, just because that way I will be with a group of people again. 

Oh yeah, and I am so so excited to be moving into my new house in July. I've been looking forward to it ever since we signed the contracts but it has lately dawned on me just how awesome it is going to be living with/next to some of my favourite people living in my own real life house where I can play mum and look after everyone and cook group meals for us all and play day trips...oh and did I mention somewhere in all this dreaming there will be actual real work to do. 

Another point that I'm really enjoying at the moment is my job as a Student Ambassador. To begin with, I wasn't really that keen on it but as the year has progressed I have gotten to know people and it has also made me much more approachable in myself and I feel much more confident from it. So it has to be a good thing - right!? Although I don't appreciate the early mornings, or standing in the cold for hours so your feet hurt, or wearing the horrible orange t-shirts... did I mention how much I love it?

Well, I guess it should be time for me to sign off now, I still haven't finished my reading, I'm tired, going to do the radio show tomorrow morning with Sabrina and have to get up early for that, but the likelihood of me going to sleep right now is slim to none. Ah well, that's student life for you - my current excuse for everything at the moment!!

Have a great week my loves!

Lots of Love, Kate xxx

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